There are thing as a stay at home mom that I often feel are my daily responsibility and if these things don't get done, then I'm not doing my job because staying home and keeping our house in order is my unpaid job.
Waking up before my kids and showering, getting dressed, making school lunches and greeting them with a smile and a hot breakfast makes me feel like a good mother.
Keeping the house spotless and and making sure laundry is caught up and bills are paid and our budget is up to date makes me feel like a good mother.
Playing one on one with each child, coming up with an activity or project makes me feel like a good mother.
Making some kind of healthy/inspiring dinner every single night and setting the table with napkins and decorative center pieces per the season makes me feel like a good mother.
Skipping the gym and spending time with everyone makes me feel like a good mother.
So why don't I feel like a good mother if I drag myself out of bed, and pour myself a cup of coffee before placing a bowl of cereal in front of my kids instead of homemade waffles and maple syrup?
Why don't I feel like a good mother if we are eating off paper plates and serving them from the stove-top instead of everything in fancy dishes?
Those question got me thinking about what really makes a good mother and why we feel this need to check off so many things on our to-do list as some kind of proof that we are doing a good job.
There are so many days when my house isn't spotless, and I'm not awake before anyone, and dinner is something I threw together at the last minute just so I can say we ate as a family.
What makes me a good mother is taking my youngest for a morning walk instead of standing in front of the sink washing dishes because there will always be dishes. There won't always be morning walks, because unlike dishes, babies grow up.
What makes me a good mother is serving them chicken nuggets because they freaking love chicken nuggets and dinner time isn't an episode of Chopped and my kids are just happy we are sitting together enjoying their favorite food. Presentation doesn't mean anything because half of it ends up on the floor anyway.
What makes me a good mother is at the end of a busy day, I lay with each one of my kids before they go to bed. I rub their backs while they talk endlessly about random things and ask me crazy questions. I listen. They love it.
Kids don't care that you cleaned the dust bunnies under the fridge, or organized and color coded their closet. Your worth as a mother isn't based on how many Pinterest projects you completed that month, or life hacks you applied to your house, or activities you dragged them to.
I realized my worth as a mother is measured in love and my urge to fight for them when things go wrong. The desire to help them with homework. How my heart swells when I hear them laugh, and the thought that goes into everything I do and plan to do-- even if I don't ever get around to it.
Being a good mother is not about spending an hour getting dressed and putting on make-up because my kids think I'm beautiful anyway. I'm their mommy, and they don't care if I spend the day in yoga pants, as long as I'm spending the day with them.
Being a good mother is knowing when I need a break, and taking it. It's okay to leave for an hour or two so I can clear my head and take a breath. No matter how many breaks I say I need, I miss them so much the minute I step out the door every single time.
Mom's are hardest on themselves because we take so much pride in feeling like we are doing a good job. We don't need a check list, and I know that now. I'm reminded what a great mother I am with every smile, every hug, and every time my children make good decisions. Even when they make bad ones, and act like jerks, I still know I am a good mother because I am right there catching them when they fall, correcting the wrong, and even sometimes watching as they fall because I know they are ready to pick themselves back up. Knowing they will make mistake after mistake for the rest of their lives; being there to guide them through it and loving them so much anyway.
Now that makes me a damn good mother!
No comments:
Post a Comment