The Way I Look At Him Now

When I first met my husband, neither of us were looking for a relationship but there was something about him I couldn't stop thinking about. A week later we went for a walk together, a walk that turned into four hours of talking, laying in the grass looking at stars, and falling in love. There was so much mystery to him then, only knowing as much as one can know about someone they've just met.

I used to think that once I fell in love that was it. The love I felt for Greg was what it would be forever. I couldn't have been more wrong.


When I woke up to him sitting beside me for the first time, waiting for me to open my eyes, I fell more in love with him.

When I got a bad cold and he tried to make me some strange concoction of hot tea and cough medicine that tasted like bitter menthol; I fell more in love with him.

When he got really sick, like really sick, and I had to take care of him for a week, I realized how badly it would hurt if something ever happened to him.

When we had our first bad argument, I got to see how he experienced regret, and sorrow.

When he proposed to me on the same sidewalk where we had ended up the night we took our four hour walk, despite having no money, and no job, I saw determination and nervousness.

When he lost his grandfather, I saw him mourn and witnessed strength.

When I heard him tell my son he loved him . . .

The way he comforted me the night we moved into our first house and I sobbed for hours out of fear and change and wondering how the hell we were going to make our house livable.

On our wedding day; the way tears filled his eyes the moment he saw me walk down the aisle.

After our second child was born, I missed him when he worked 75 hours a week so I could stay home.

When things got tough in our marriage, and we separated, I saw him in pain and I saw him keep going despite that pain. I pushed him away and he never stopped trying. I witnessed a love between the two of us that some only dream of.

Watching him rock our daughter to sleep . . .

I experienced how calm he is when everything around us isn't.

The way he spoke to me with such a gentle and loving tone, despite driving 85 miles an hour and running red lights to the hospital because my water broke at home and I was about to deliver our 3rd child in the front seat of our car.

After eight years, he still makes my coffee every morning . . .


There is something beautiful about knowing you love someone so quickly and when you are so young. We have gotten to be apart of so many things in each others lives. We have watched each other learn, and helped each other grow.

The way I look at him now is different then the way I looked at that hot college guy I wanted to get to know so bad. He is my partner, my best friend, an amazing dad. He drives me crazy and pushes my buttons. He gets me in a way a lot of people don't. We laugh at things other's don't understand because we are the same kind of weird. I love that things don't have to be perfect and he can love me at absolute worst and I can love him during his.

I love the way I look at him now, and I look forward to how I will look at him seven more years from now.